(October 3, 2108) According to The New York Times (a former newspaper) the FBI has uncovered new scandalous information detailing how Brett Kavanaugh pulled a girl’s pigtails when both were five-years-old.
Anonymous sources close to the case informed anonymous sources close to The Times that anonymous sources within the FBI have spoken to anonymous sources who know someone who was there at the time and said that Kavanaugh’s vicious assault on the innocent child left her traumatized and crying right up to snack time.
While police did not press charges, The Times interviewed a psychologist who said that studies show “all men who eventually raped women were once five-year-old-boys” thereby creating one more link in an evidence chain that The Times will write anything and doesn’t care how much it embarrasses itself.
New York Times reporter, Angela ScreamingPants, wrote the exposé for The Times after she was hired away from her job running the George Soros funded Destroy-the-United-States-and-Kill-Everyone-in-it-Starting-with-Conservative-Supreme-Court-Justices-in-Order-to-Make-a-Better-World.
Some outsiders said that her former association may indicate bias on the part of the reporter, but Times Board Member, Sarah Kill-All-White-Men responded, “What bias? Kill all White men.”
Times Editor-in-Chief—Blithering Prevarication, III—defended the piece against those who read it and laughed hysterically until their stomach’s hurt and they could do nothing but lie on their sides. Mr. The-Third said it was long past time that all the little girls be heard because “at this newspaper we believe that if it happened to one woman then every Conservative must be guilty for some reason that I cannot entirely explain.”
The Times said it will continue to investigate Kavanaugh’s past until every last shred of its former reputation for journalistic excellence is gone.
(The above is Andrew Klavan’s introductory monologue to his podcast released earlier today.)
This is only the second post to stray from American Civil War and the Reconstruction Era topics during the past five years. I make this exception because mainstream media bias has become intolerable. It is one source of the bigotry that encouraged mobs to destroy Confederate Monuments without permitting voices defending the statues to have their say. Politically correct academic historians are among the chief wellsprings for the poisonous attitudes. During the past thirty years they have produced bigoted graduates that have permeated media. The descent of The New York Times from its former excellence to its present status as a mouthpiece for misandry is one of the saddest transformations of a respected institution in my lifetime.